Random joke from this category
A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked:
- Are they relatives of yours?
- Yes - his wife replied - I married into the family.
A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there.
A farmer replied:
- Joe's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died.
- Well - replied the man - she must have had a lot of friends.
- Nope - said the farmer - we all just want to buy his mule.
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife:
- When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones.
- Wife: No, I can't marry anyone after you.
- Johnson: But I want you to.
- Wife: But why?
- Johnson: Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!
How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine?
→ Only one if you run him through slowly!
An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot. "I think I am planting them too deep."
Zack and Tybe, two Alabama farm boys, bought themselves a truckload of watermelons for a buck apiece.
They sold each one for a dollar. After counting up their cash, they realized they'd wound up with the same amount of money they'd started out with.
- See! - said Tybe.
- Ah told yew we shoulda got a bigger truck!
Did you hear about the idiot who planted Cheerios in his backyard?
He thought they were donut seeds.
The Albanian planted lightbulbs in his garden.
He heard that tulips grew from bulbs.
A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper:
- Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas.
The gatekeeper replied:
- First of all, I'm not Saint Peter and second, you really don't know where you are at all, do you?
What's a fresh vegetable?
→ One that insults a farmer.
