Instrument Jokes

Top Ten Signs The Concert You're Attending is Not The Real Woodstock

|From "Late Show with David Letterman" on Tuesday, August 9, 199410. It's hosted by Ed McMahon.9. "Amplifiers" are just enormous dixie cups.8. Every song...

 

Glossary of music terms

|Accent: An unusual manner of pronunciation, e.g. "Y'all sang that real good!"Accidentals: Wrong notesAd Libitum: A premiere.Agitato: A string player's state...

 

How to buy a stero

|1. Carefully calculate power requirements, based on room dimensions, etc. Multiply by a factor of 100.2. The ideal system should have as many lights as...

 

Musician jokes

|Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, "I can do that!"Q: What do you get...

 

Where are we?

|Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov,...

 

What's that sound?

|A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the commerative plaque, only to be distracted by a low...

 

Arriving in Heaven

|Arriving in HeavenThree men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter.St. Peter: Hi, what's your name?Paul: My name is Paul.St. Peter: Hi, Paul. Tell...

 

Phone songs

|All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes.Mary Had A Little Lamb3212333, 222, 399,...