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Lawyer Jokes

How's business?

|Two lawyers met at a cocktail party late one night."How?s business?" asked the first."Rotten," replied the other. "Yesterday, I chased an ambulance for...

 

What is his occupation?

|A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"Tim stood...

 

What is the oldest profession?

|A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said,...

 

Trying to be impressive

|A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through...

 

What's your wife's name?

|St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven."Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?" he asks one of...

 

Space photography

|The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble Space Telescope photograph of distant galaxies colliding.Of course, astronomers have...

 

Free advice at social affairs?

|A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor...

 

I want to take money with me

|As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He...

 

When you know you must really be drunk

|A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch.A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered...

 

I suppose I earned enough

|An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney?s office as his lawyer handed him his will. "Your estate is very...

 

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