Police Jokes

How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?
→ Studying their Miranda Rights.

Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today.

- I'll do anything for 3 points - he said when questioned.

What do you call a snake that informs the police?
→ A grass snake!

- Policeman: Why didn't you check your speedometer?

- Driver: It broke when I hit 100.

A policeman came upon a super-salesman about to jump from a bridge and yelled:

- Wait, Fellow! Please don't do that!!!

- Why not? - the salesman said, and proceeded to expound on his views on the shaky economy, declining family life and Clinton politics.

Shortly thereafter, they both jumped.

What language do the Vatican Police speak?
→ Pig Latin!

Did you hear the Energizer Bunny was arrested?
→ Charged with battery!

What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits' home?
→ A search warren!

- Lady (standing in the middle of a busy street): Officer, can you tell me how to get to the Hospital?

- Officer: Just stand where you are!!!

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a police officer.

- Officer: Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?

- Man: I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air.

- Officer: Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test.

- Man: I can't do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death.

- Officer: Then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line.

- Man: Can't do that either.

- Officer: Why not?

- Man: Because I'm dead drunk.