Stats/Math Jokes
The birthday study
|It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest. -- S. den...
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Answering machine
|Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician. I'm probably not at home, or not wanting to answer the phone, most probably the...
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The results of statistics
|. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed2. All polar bears are left-handed3. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a...
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Worries while flying
|Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but...
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Risk of plane bombs
|A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to go. The non has terrible flight panic."Hey, don't worry,...
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Misunderstood people
|1. They speak only the Greek language.2. They usually have long threatening names such as Bonferonni, Tchebycheff, Schatzoff, Hotelling, and Godambe. Where...
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Statistical one-liners
|A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population.According to recent surveys,...
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Reducing travel risk
|There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would always accelerate hard before coming to any junction, whizz straight over it , then slow...
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Purchasing the shoes
|A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what size shoes to buy. "No problem," says the mathematician, "there is a simple...
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The fate of marriages
|It is often cited that there are half as many divorces as marriages in the US, so one concludes that average marriages have a 50% chance of ending by...
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