Christmas Jokes

Short Father Christmas

|What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?Santa Clues!Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.Now thats what you call pot...

 

Santa Hates Your Kid

|8. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes6. Along with presents, Santa leaves...

 

Optimist vs. Pessimist

|A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the...

 

Santa vs. system admins

|The similarities between Santa and System Admins1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny.2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving...

 

Signs You Bought a Lousy Tree

|8. Two feet tall, forty feet wide 7. Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?" 6. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat...

 

Santa's Pet Peeves

|Department Store Santa Peeves8. Kids who refuse to believe that it's fruitcake on your breath and not gin.7. When the last guy to use the beard leaves bits...

 

Without a Christmas bonus

|Ten signs you're not getting a christmas bonus10. Co-workers refer to you as "the ghost of unemployment future" 9. The last time you saw your boss was when...

 

Sick of the Holidays

|Signs You're Sick of the Holidays8. You've got red and green bags under your eyes 7. You're serving reindeer pot pie 6. When you hear, "Sleigh bells ring,...

 

The Christmas diet song

|'Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with...

 

The Police Officer's Christmas

|Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the substation,Not a deputy stirred,they were all on vacation. The stockings were hungon the wall with great...