Elderly Jokes

Recently seen

|Recently seen on a card...Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us...Inside: ... We had to stay up all night lighting them!

 

Good & bad news

|An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear...

 

Hard of hearing

|Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?""No," the second man replied,...

 

Movies changed

|For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the...

 

New hearing aid

|Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of...

 

Handling teens

|A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment....

 

Ode to cranky men

|I chanced to pass a windowWhile walking through a mallWith nothing much upon my mind,Quite blank as I recall. I noticed in that windowA cranky-faced old...

 

I have bad news

|The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..." The patient says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?" "You have Alzheimer's...

 

I am not forgetful

|Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front...

 

Automotive horror

|As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on...