Computing Jokes

Types of computer viruses

|Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant...

 

Bill Gates picks his own punishment

|Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all...

 

Would you define OCR?

|OCR - Optical Character RecognitionA technology that can take written words and convert them back into computer-readable form, provided they're in the right...

 

Top Ten Ways Y2K Will Affect Disney World

|10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea.9. Screwed up computers report EuroDisney turning a profit.8. Air traffic control glitch causes...

 

Floppy disk care

|By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy disks. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of...

 

The problem is at your end

|One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired...

 

Mailing list users changing light bulbs

|Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Exactly five hundred.1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail...

 

Some possible computer bumper stickers

|1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding2. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.7. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)8....

 

Have a Microsoft Christmas

|'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except father's mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were...

 

Diary of a computer lamer

|July 18I just tried to connect to America online, which I've heard is the best online service I can get. I can't connect, I don't know what is wrong.July...