Computing Jokes

The Ten Commandments for C Programmers

|1. Thou shalt run lint frequently and study its pronouncements with care, for verily its perception and judgement oft exceed thine. 2. Thou shalt not follow...

 

Programming language acronyms

|ADA: A Dumb ArrangementADA: A Dumb AcronymADA: A Dumb AnnoyanceBASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic CodersBASIC: Badly Assembled, Severely Illogical...

 

If IBM ran Christmas...

|They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for their present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36 hours of...

 

If Microsoft ran Christmas...

|Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well. You wouldn't have to take the tree, but you still have to pay for it anyway....

 

If Apple ran Christmas...

|It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years earlier, and with a smaller mouse (not stirring of course).

 

If Silicon Graphics ran Christmas...

|Ornaments would be priced slightly higher, but would hang on the tree remarkably quickly. Also the colors of the ornaments would be prettier than most all...

 

If Dell ran Christmas...

|Wait a minute? Isn't IBM running this Christmas..?

 

If Fisher Price ran Christmas...

|"Baby's First Ornament" would have a hand-crank that you turn to hang the thing on the tree.

 

If The Rand Corporation ran Christmas...

|The ornaments would be large perfectly smooth and seamless black cubes. Christmas morning there would be presents for everyone, but no one would know what...

 

If the NSA ran Christmas...

|Your ornaments would have a secret trap door that only the NSA could access in case they needed to monitor your tree for reasons of national security.