Sex

What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?

Q: What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?A: Having to go to bed so early!

 

After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute...

After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took$300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table."Thanks," she said. "But I...

 

What's a real mate?

Q: What's a real mate?A: Someone who'll go into town, get two head jobs and gives you one?.when he returns.

 

How do you piss your girlfriend of when your having sex?

How do you piss your girlfriend of when your having sex?Call her up

 

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods...

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods on her way to visit her grandmother, when suddenly The Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a...

 

What do you get if you cross your missus with a pit bull?

What do you get if you cross your missus with a pit bull?Your very last headjob.

 

What's the difference between white onions, brown onions...

Q: What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 14 inch dick?A: Nothing. They all make woman's eyes water.

 

How does a yuppie couple perform doggie-style sex?

How does a yuppie couple perform doggie-style sex?He sits up and begs and she lies down and plays dead.

 

Five fingers

A beautiful young woman marries this seventy year old bloke for his money. On their wedding night she joyfully jumps into bed and he holds up five...

 

This bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous...

This bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the dance floor...