Miscellaneous

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

What did the egg say to the boiling water?"I just got laid and now you want me to get hard?!"Sent by Sarah

 

An artist asked the gallery owner...

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner...

 

Cheap widow

A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituaryfor her recently deceased husband is published. After the editorinforms her that the fee...

 

A man moves into a nudist colony...

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letterfrom his mother asking him to send her a current photoof himself in his new location. Too embarrassed...

 

What's the difference between a policeman's knightstick and...

Q: What's the difference between a policeman's knightstickand a magician's wand?A: A Magician's wand is for cunning stunts.

 

How do you tell two KKK members apart?

How do you tell two KKK members apart?Ask their wife. After all, she's their mother....

 

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?A: A quarter-pounder with cheese.

 

What would Princess Diana be doing right...

Q: What would Princess Diana be doing right now if she were alive today?A: Scratching on the lid of her casket.

 

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy...

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?A pool table.

 

A woman goes into a bar and orders a beer...

A woman goes into a bar and orders a beer. She grabs the beer and tips it down the back of her skirt. The barman looks amazed as she orders another and again...