Elderly Jokes

Problems driving

|Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The...

 

She is angry at you

|Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door...

 

Grandma changed

|In the dim and distant pastWhen life's tempo wasn't so fast,Grandma used to rock and knit,Crochet, tat and baby sit.When the kids were in a jam,They could...

 

How you earned it

|A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great...

 

When I become old

|When I'm a little old lady, then I'll live with my children and bring them great joy.To repay all I've had from each girl and boy I shall draw on the walls...

 

No Peer Pressure

|A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.She simply replied, "No peer...

 

Florida driver's license!

|I've sure gotten old. I've had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear...

 

When you are young

|When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When you are older, you will settle for being the master of your...

 

I'm over the hill

|We're over the hill but don't feel sadThis side of the hill ain't all that bad.So give us "five" and then a smileTo us who have been here for awhile.With...

 

Bathroom troubles

|Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven...