Elderly Jokes
Guaranteed visits
|An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to...
- 0
- 1561
- permalink
Getting old when
|You know you're getting older when...Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been...
- 0
- 1530
- permalink
You will forget it
|An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with...
- 0
- 1537
- permalink
Sharing everything
|A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the...
- 0
- 1502
- permalink
Uncovering a scam
|The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but...
- 0
- 1439
- permalink
Old maid's burglar
|A story I'll tell of a burglar boldWho started to rob a house;He opened the window, and then crept inAs quiet as a mouse.He looked around for a place to...
- 0
- 1415
- permalink
Pondering old age
|How do I know that my youth is all spent?Well, my get up and go has got up and went.But in spite of it all I am able to grinwhen I recall where my get up...
- 0
- 1396
- permalink
An ode to old age
|There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie.My hair's getting thinner, my body is not;The...
- 0
- 1361
- permalink
A final diagnosis
|Thought I'd let my doctor check me,'Cause I didn't feel quite right. . .All those aches and pains annoyed meAnd I couldn't sleep at night.He could find no...
- 0
- 1572
- permalink
A Senior Citizen
|I am a senior citizen...- I'm the life of the party... even when it lasts 'till 8pm.- I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.- I'm usually...
- 0
- 1496
- permalink