Aviation Jokes
The plane is crashing into the ocean
|Flight fifty has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and...
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Top Things You Don't Want to Overhear Over an Airline P.A. System
|1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation...
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The loss of engines
|Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will...
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Half off these tickets
|USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department...
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A plane flying in the 1930s
|In the early 1930's, a farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost."$10 for...
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The world's smartest man?
|A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions.Suddenly, the pilot...
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Fear of bombs on planes
|Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country.The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed...
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Real flight announcements
|Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some...
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Airlines running operating systems
|Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems running them.DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then...
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An emergency landing
|According to "The Australian," an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on...
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