Comedian Jokes

THe guy who invented the hokey pokey's funeral

eariler this week i went to the guy who inveted the hokey pokey's funeral. It was a weird funeral. First they put his left leg in,then took his left leg...



I knew this guy. He was a sound guy from Ireland.He spoke to me one day and told me he was going to apply for a job.He told me that he walked out because the...


My Dog

Having a dog is great, it's just the 'dog people' that freak me out. "Oh, look at her, she's precious,just like Mommy." Me?!? If I birthed something that had...


Gas Station

Have you ever seen Pop Idol? One point it was held at an esso gas station.This irishman came on to do a song. He stoodnext to the diesel pump, lit the place...


Inflatable high heels

I once met a dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date butunfortunately she'd popped her clogs.


Drown my troubles

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but i can't get my wife to go swimming!


Pray for a bike

When i was a kid i used to pray for a new bike. But then I realised that the lord doesn't work that way, so i stole one and asked him to forgive me!


Marmite Competition

I was in a good mood last week. I entered a competition and won a years supply of jar!