Drunks

Two drunks walk into a bar...

Two drunks walk into a bar. The first drunk looks at his buddy and says "I gotta go use the can." So he wonders off to the bathroom and is gone for 5 ......

 

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down...

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take...

 

There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk...

There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION ALL" and farts loudly. The wife is...

 

Clearing it

A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that issitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangelled Banner!Everyone who...

 

A drunk staggered into a cemetery and...

A drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave.Pretty soon a second drunk staggered by. "Get me out of here", said the one in the grave,...

 

How can you tell?

"Old Jethro's next door's a-makin' moonshine again." the wife told her husband."How can you tell ?" he asked. "Did you smell it ?""Nope. But a bunch of mice...

 

What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?

What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?A drunk doesn't have to go to those stupid meetings.

 

ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY

"ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY"So what ? Who's in a hurry ?

 

A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog...

A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash.She sits down at the bar next to a drunk. The drunk rollsaround, leans over, and splat! He...

 

Lost all my luggage

McAteer arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already...