Animal Jokes

Vampire Bat

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other...

 

Dog named Sex

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall...

 

Ant and Elephant have romance

An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and...

 

Difference between a cat and a dog...

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!...

 

rabbits chased by wolf

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and...

 

horse

This horse walks in to a bar and asks for a bit to eat!

 

bear and a rabbit

A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of you three wishes."The...

 

Do Elephants Ever Forget?

Q: Does an elephant ever forget?A: Only if you loan him money.

 

Elephants and Cell-Phones

Q: Why don't elephants use cellular phones?A: So the rest of the world won't know their plans.

 

I'll have a Penguin; shaken, not stirred

Q: Why do penguins live in the Arctic?A: Because they can't fly to Florida like the rest of the old birds.