Bar Jokes
A drunk orders himself a beer
|A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender...
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Who keeps saying those things?
|A man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively "You've got great hair!" The man looked...
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Someone stole things from me
|A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the radio, and even...
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I think I'll try a nicer approach
|Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He...
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Bad luck finding a place to hide
|A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I'm so mad, I can't even see straight." The...
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I know you were drunk yesterday
|A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk....
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My girlfriend is out in the car
|A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was...
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I bet I can bite both of my eyes
|A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip. The guy says, "I'll bet you my...
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I only ordered a double
|I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double.The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me
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This tells me that I must be drunk
|A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket...
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