Business Jokes
The Procrastinator's creed
|1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.3. I...
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Reasons to leave work
|1. Not spending enough quality time with the kitchen applicances.2. Came dressed in only a towel...again.3. Ran out of paper clips.4. I've decided to...
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Reasons to stay at work all night
|1. Act out your version of a company takeover.2. Find a way to change everyone's password to "chrysanthemum".3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with...
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Keeping a high profile in an office
|Never write a note or memo if you can phone or visit instead; everyone wants to talk whenever you're ready.Don't sit down to talk. The acoustics are better...
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Why did he fire you?
|Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you?"Replied the second, "Well, you know how a foreman is always...
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Japanese management lecture
|Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were...
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Those who don't know
|The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don't know. Those who know are no problem.Those who don't know are also in two...
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Who is doing the work around here?
|The population of the United States was 180 million at the time of writing, but there are 64 million over 60 years of age, leaving 116 million to do the...
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The requirements of this job
|Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was...
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A tight travel budget
|All workers please be advised of the following changes to the travel policy.MemorandumTo: All EmployeesFrom: HeadquartersSubject: Business Travel Policy...
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