Life is cruel
What women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professionalman who will just love them for who they are.
What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them onlybecause no other woman wants him.
What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and Pamela LeeAnderson; Wonderful Mom with big hooters and can suck the chrome offa flag pole.
What men get: Someone who immediately begins to gain those 80 extralbs the moment after she says "I Do", beginning with the wedding cake!
What women want in bed: A passionate lover who takes the time to kissand gently caress, slowly building up to a wonderful joyous experiencetogether.
What they get: "Wham-Bam-Thank-You Ma'am!", Belch, Fart, ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzWhat men expect out of a marriage: 3 loving children who honor theirparents.
What they get: 3 helions who are a combination of their parents everyfault and make their life a living hell.
1st anniversary card from husband to wife: "My sweet loving wife.
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.Ihope this first year is a reflection of the next 60 years, you are my heartand soul, I am forever yours."5th anniversary card: "I love you so much honey.
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words cannot describe."10th anniversary card: "Hey, how's it hangin'? Love Ya'!
!"15th anniversary card: "Ummmmmmmmm.
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.'sup?"16th anniversary card from wife to husband: "You are hereby summonedto divorce proceedings.
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