Orchestra jokes

Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?

A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!

Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?

A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!

Q: How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven. [Indignant nose upturning] Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Q: Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?

A: They've had little use.

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