Animal Jokes

They're boasting about race records

|Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"Another horse breaks...

 

A frog calls a psychic

|Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his...

 

These chickens want books

|A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books,...

 

A guide to walking tigers

|Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a...

 

A snail buys a fast new car

|There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After...

 

A very insulting parrot

|This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc.,...

 

A good chess player

|A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe...

 

Three very tough mice

|Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat...

 

Steven Wright on dogs

|The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.I had a dog once. I...

 

Worries about mad cow disease

|There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They...