Bar Jokes

I didn't get any money this time

|A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died...

 

You looked a lot like my wife

|A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and...

 

Making a bet at a bar

|Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously...

 

A nun arrives at the local bar

|John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and...

 

Newly issued alcohol warnings

|The Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint...

 

Reasons to allow drinking at work

|The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing...

 

A neutron at a bar

|A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies...

 

I have a magical dancing duck

|A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on...

 

He is a very fast drinker

|A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey...

 

A bet made at the local bar

|A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they...