Instrument Jokes
Fight between the musicians
|At a concert hall one night, the stage manager comes across an oboe player and a viola player having a fight.He breaks the fight up and asks what the fight...
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Musicians on a sinking ship
|A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together."Help!" cried the cellist, "I can't swim!""Don't worry," said the violist, "just fake it."
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Make me a better musician
|There once was a violist playing in the Winnipeg Symphony. He wasn't that wonderful a player, so he sat at the back of the section. One day, he was cleaning...
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The insane conductor
|A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be.The chief of police comes over to...
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Violin jokes
|Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?A: The bow is moving.Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Sit in the back and don't play.Q: How...
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The autograph book
|Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert."There's not much room on this page," he...
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Contacting a friend
|Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and...
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Here is your punishment
|"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant."You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son...
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Vocal jokes
|Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.Q: What is the difference between a...
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This must be heaven
|So this trumpet player dies. When he reaches is everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, "You're going to spend eternity with this combo, okay? There's...
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