Instrument Jokes
The amazing conductor
|When a young hotshot conductor was making his debut at the Met, he showed the jaded and skeptical orchestra how well he knew the music by singing all parts...
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Arriving at Heaven
|A soprano died and went to Heaven. St. Peter stopped her at the gate asking, "Well, how many false notes did you sing in your life?"The soprano answers,...
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Operas that never made it
|Britten: A Midsummer Nightmare.Mozart: The Magic Tuba.Puccini: La Bamba.Rossini: The Plumber of Seville.Verdi: Rigatoni.
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Orchestra jokes
|Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose...
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George Bernard Shaw
|While at a concert being performed by a very bad orchestra, George Bernard Shaw was asked what he'd like them to play next. "Dominoes," he replied.
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Playing music
|Last summer, the local orchestra decided to play Beethoven's 9th symphony.However, it being quite hot, the players were working up quite a sweat, until a...
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Efficiency
|From: Efficiency & Ticket, Ltd., Management ConsultantsTo: Chairman, The London Symphony OrchestraRe: Schubert's Symphony No. 8 in B minor.After attending a...
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May I speak to the conductor
|A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead.The musician calls back 25 times more and gets the same message...
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Musical jokes
|Q: What do you get when you play a new age song backwards?A: A new age song.Q: What happens if you sing country music backwards?A: You get your job and your...
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Any last requests?
|A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the...
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