True Lawyer Statements
Amazing and true lawyer statements. Lawyers typically aren?
t funny ? unless by accident. Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide.
..
1) Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
2) Now, doctor, isn?
t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn?
t know anything about it until the next morning?
3) Q: What happened then? A: He told me, he says, ?
I have to kill you because you can identify me.
? Q: Did he kill you?
4) Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
5) The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
6) Were you alone or by yourself.
7) How long have you been a French Canadian?
8) Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
9) Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture. A: That?
s me. Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
10) Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
11) Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
12) Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? A: I?
ll be three months on November8. Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8? A: Yes. Q: What were you doing at that time?
13) Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable? A: I used to be. Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
14) So you were gone until you returned?
15) Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there girls?
16) You don?
t know what it was, and you didn?
t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
17) Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
18) Q: Have you lived in this town all your life? A: Not yet.
19) A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, ?
Your Honor, I?
d like to strike the next question.
?
20) Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the rose Chapel? A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.
m. Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that so? A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
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