A man's translations

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say.

.."IT'S A GUY THING"Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"Translated:* "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response."IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."Translated:* "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,

' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every carI've ever owned.

.. but I forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"Translated:* "What did you catch me at?"

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."Translated:* "I make the messes; she cleans them up."

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