Puns by the Pound!

Q: what did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

A: Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow-job.

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Q: Did you hear about the queer burglar?

A: He couldn't blow the safe do he went down on the elevator.

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Q: Why is it so groovy to be a test tube baby?

A: Because you get a womb with a view.

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Q: Why are eggs so frusterated?

A: Because they only get laid once, they only get eaten once, and you've gotta boil them to get them hard.

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Q: Where do you get virgin wool?

A: From ugly sheep.

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Q: What did Adam say to Eve?

A: Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets.

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Q: Did you hear about the deaf gynecoligist?

A: He had to learn how to read ilps.

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Q: Why are chickens so ugly?

A: You'd be ugly too if you had a pecker hanging out your forehead.

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Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?

A: Cause they dont know the words.

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Q: Where are an elephant's sex organs?

A: In his feet- if he steps on you you're fucked.

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Q: How do you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?

A: If she farts, her ankles will swell.

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Q: What's the ulitmate rejection?

A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

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Q: How do you know when an elephant's been fucking in your garage?

A: Your Hefty bags are missing.

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