Cards You Won't Find At Hallmark
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:.
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.. What was I thinking?"
"Congratulations on your wedding day!
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.. Too bad no one likes your wife."
"How could two people as beautiful you.
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. have such an uglybaby?"
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
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.. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.
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.. I neverbelieved in Hell until I met you."
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am.
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.. that you're nothere to ruin it for me."
"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy.
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"Thanks for being a part of my life!
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. I never knew what evil was before this!"
"Before you go,
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.. I would like you to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."
"Someday I hope to get married.
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. but not to you."
"You look great for your age.
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Almost Lifelike!"
"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
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.. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend.
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.. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."
"We have been friends for a very long time.
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.. What do you say we call it quits?"
"I'm so miserable without you.
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. It's almost like you're here."
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
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.. Did you everfind out who the father was?"
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.
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. I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday--------- So we're having you put to sleep."
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