Classified Ad Bloopers!
The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers:Free Yorkshire Terrior.
8 years-old. Hateful little dog.
----------------------------------Free Puppies:1/2 Cocker Spaniel1/2 Sneaky Neighbor's Dog----------------------------------Free Puppies:Part German ShepherdPart Stupid Dog----------------------------------German Shepherd - 85lbs.
Neutered. Speaks German. Free!
----------------------------------1 Man, 7 Women hot tub -- $850/offer----------------------------------Amana Washer $100.
Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
----------------------------------Snow blower for sale.
Only used on snowy days.
----------------------------------2 Wire mesh butchering gloves:1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair $15.
----------------------------------Tickle Me Elmo, Still in Box,
Comes with its own1988 Mustang, 5L, AutoExcellent Condition, $6,
800.
----------------------------------83 Toyota Hunchback -- $2,
000----------------------------------Star Wars Job of the Hut -- $15----------------------------------Soft & Genital Bath Tissuesor Facial Tischue - $.
89----------------------------------Full-Sized Mattress20 Year WarrantyLike New! Slight urine smell.
----------------------------------FREE 1 Can of Pork & BeansWith Purchase of 3 BR / 2 BTH Home----------------------------------Nordic Track $300Hardly used. Call Chubbie.
----------------------------------Bill's Septic Cleaning"We Haul American Made Products"----------------------------------Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks----------------------------------HUMMELS - Largest Selection Ever!"If it's in stock, we have it!"----------------------------------Get a Little John:The Traveling UrinalHolds 2 1/2 Bottles of Beer.
----------------------------------Harrisburg Postal Employees Gun Club----------------------------------Georgia PeachesCalifornia Grown - $.
89/lb.
----------------------------------Nice ParachuteNever Opened - Used OnceSlightly Stained----------------------------------American Flag60 Stars - Pole Included - $100----------------------------------Tired of Working for only $9.
75 per hour?
We offer profit sharing and flexible hours.
Starting Pay: $7-9 per hour.
----------------------------------Exercise EquipmentQueen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175----------------------------------Our Sofa Seats the Whole Mob!
And it's made of 100% Italian Leather.
----------------------------------Joining Nudist Colony!
Must Sell Washer & Dryer - $300----------------------------------Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty.
----------------------------------Alzheimer's Center Preparesfor an Affair to Remember----------------------------------Gas Cloud Clears out Taco Bell----------------------------------Open House!
Body Shapers Toning SalonFree Coffee & Donuts----------------------------------Kellogg's Pot Tarts - $1.
99/box.
----------------------------------Fully Cooked Boneless Smoked Mann $2.
09/lb.
----------------------------------FOR SALE BY OWNERComplete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
45 volumes - Excellent condition.
$1,
000.
00 or best offer.
No longer needed.
Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.
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