I\'d Love To But...
Next time you're invited to a boring social event, try one of these excuses to why you can't attend:I'D LOVE TO BUT.
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. I don't want to leave my comfort zone. .
.. I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary. .
.. I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters. .
.. I have to fluff my shower cap. .
.. I have to fulfill my potential. .
.. I left my body in my other clothes. .
.. I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist. .
.. I'll be looking for a parking space. .
.. I'm being deported. .
.. I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian. .
.. I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store. .
.. I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise. .
.. I'm sandblasting my oven. .
.. I'm taking a crash course in punk totem pole carving. .
.. I'm worried about my vertical hold. .
.. I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other. .
.. I've got a Friends of the Rutabaga meeting. .
.. it's too close to the turn of the century. .
.. my Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then. .
.. my plot to take over the world is thickening. .
.. my subconscious says no. .
.. none of my socks match. .
.. the grunion are running. .
.. the last time I went, I never came back. .
.. the monsters haven't turned blue yet; I have to eat more dots.
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