The talking peanut.
This guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. As he sits drinking, he notices a peanut jump out of the dish before him. The peanut proceeds to talk, 'hey there buddy,
' it hollers, 'you're looking mighty fine tonight!
'The guy can't believe what he is seeing. 'This sure is some strong beer!
' He thinks to himself before getting up to go to the toilet. On his way back to the bar, the guy walks past a cigarette machine which appears to speak ,
'hey asshole, go screw yourself!
' it yells.
The guy can't believe it and decides to ask the bartender what's going on. 'Hey bartender, I swear to god that one of those peanuts over there just started a conversation with me and on the way back from the men's room, your cigarette machine just swore at me.
''Let me explain,
' replies the bartender 'the peanuts are complimentary and the cigarette machine is out of order.
'
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