Attorney Hunting Rules
A BILL TO REGULATE THE HUNTING AND HARVESTING OF ATTORNEYS372.
01 - Any person with a valid California state rodent or deer hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.
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02 - Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait is, however, prohibited.
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03 - The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.
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04 - It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or fixed-wing aircraft.
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05 - It is unlawful to shout "Whiplash!", "Ambulance!", or "Free Scotch!" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
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06 - It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within one hundred (100) yards of BMW, Porsche, or Mercedes dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoons.
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07 - It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within two hundred (200) yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs or hospitals. No fair, that's their stompin' grounds!
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08 - If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess same.
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09 - It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
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10 - Bag Limits Per Day Yellow Bellied Sidewinders2 - Two-faced Tortfeasors1 - Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators3 - Horn Rimmed Cut-throats2 - Honest Attorneys (ENDANGERED SPECIES)
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