Translating Menspeak

When He Says - He Really Means ------------ - ---------------- Do you have the time? - to go to bedHello - Let's cut the talk and go have sex.

How are you? - in bed, I mean.

I'd like a discreet relationship. - I want sex, but I'm married.

I'll be out of town for a few days. - I'll be spending time with with the wife.

I'm a novelist. - I have 10 unpublished books.

I'm coming off a long relationship. - My wife is divorcing me.

I'm consulting. - I'm looking for a job.

I'm divorced. - I just slipped off my wedding ring.

I'm in television. - I fix them.

I'm involved in banking. - I'm a bank guard.

I'm self-employed. - I just got fired.

I'm sorry I flirted with your sister. - I'm sorry I got caught.

I'm thinking of relocating. - I can't find a job locally in this town.

I can't leave my wife just yet.

.soon. - Be patient forever.

I enjoy reading. - Playboy and Penthouse.

I have the Midas touch. - I install mufflers.

I like a woman who is intelligent. - As long as she acts like I'm smarter.

I love opera. - I want sex, but I've seen an opera once.

I play the market. - SafewayI work high up in an executive office. - I'm a window washer.

I work with computers. - I'm a cashier at a gas station.

Looking for a satisfying relationship. - I want sex.

My business is really hot right now! - I hand out towels in a steam room.

My job keeps me running. - I'm a messenger.

My wife and I are separated. - She's at home and I'm here at the bar.

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