Wifespeak
Wifespeak/Translation You want: You wantWe need: I wantIt's your decision: The correct decision should be obvious by nowDo what you want: You'll pay for this laterWe need to talk: I need to complainSure.
..
go ahead: I don't want you to.
I'm not upset: Of course I'm upset, you moron.
You're so manly: You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight: Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not over reacting!
: I'm on my period.
Be romantic, turn out the lights.
: I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient: I want a new house.
I want new curtains: and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper.
..
.
I need wedding shoes: the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of whiteHang the picture there: No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise: I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me?
: I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me?
: I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute: Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.
V.
Is my butt fat?
: Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate: Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!
?
: [Too late, your dead.
]Yes: NoNo: NoMaybe: NoI'm sorry: You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe?
: It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.
Was that the baby?
: Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling!
: Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
All we're going to buy is a soap dish: It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at few new pocketbooks, and, oh my god,
there's a sale in lingerie, and wouldn't these pink sheets look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
In answer to the question "What's wrong?"The same old thing.
: Nothing.
Nothing.
: Everything.
Everything: My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really.
: It's just that you're such an asshole.
.
I don't want to talk about it.
: Go away, I'm still building up steam.
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