Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer vs Physician

A lawyer and a physician had a dispute over precedence.They referred it to Diogenes, who gave it in favor of the lawyer as follows:"Let the thief go first,...

 

a thief and his lawyer

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had...

 

half of everything

Three guys are walking in an abandoned warehouse. They find a genie bottle. They decide to rub it.A genie pops out. He says, "I will grant you each one wish,...

 

Lawyer Means...

What's the definition of lawyer? The larval form of a politician.

 

Have a Drink

Middle of the night, middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the center of the road.They collide and a fair amount of damage...

 

Two lawyers walking through the woods

Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and...

 

Lawyer Statue

One day, a guy went into a store, just browsing.He suddenly saw a statue of a rat made of bronze, and thought that it was interesting. He decided to buy it,...

 

The Godfather

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walked into a room to meet with his accountant.The Godfather asked the accountant, "Where's the three million...

 

Cement

Q: What do u have when their is a lawyer up to his neck in cement?A: not enough cement

 

Catfish vs. Lawyer

Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?A: Ones a gross dirty slimy scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and ones a fish...