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Lawyer Jokes

The bronze statues

|A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized...

 

What and who am I?

|A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to...

 

There are no honest lawyers

|A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it....

 

Here's your fee schedule

|A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule."Alright," the lawyer says looking through his papers. "You owe me $1000 down and $417.58 cents...

 

Unreasonable bill

|A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item:"Was walking down the street and saw you...

 

Replacing lab rats with lawyers

|The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the...

 

You've changed my mind

|Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this...

 

Some last minute requests

|A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted...

 

Get money to heaven

|A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can?t take it with you."After much thought...

 

Want to go into space?

|NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn?t return to Earth.The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much...

 

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