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Lawyer Jokes

Brain transplant

|"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles."My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the...

 

Lawyer's personal injury

|A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain."I'm an...

 

A love for material goods

|A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into...

 

I just managed to settle an account!

|A young attorney who had taken over his father?s practice rushed home elated one night."Dad, listen," he shouted, "I?ve finally settled that old McKinney...

 

An honest lawyer

|An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house...

 

Did you make a donation?

|At the United Way in a fairly small town a volunteer worker noticed that the most successful lawyer in the whole town hadn't made a contribution. This guy...

 

Free haircuts

|A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "you do God?s work." The next morning...

 

Can I take his place?

|An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to...

 

Lawyers on a flight

|An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency...

 

Are you talking to me?

|At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand...

 

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