Centipede jokes

Why was the centipede late?

Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother!

What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?

A walkie talkie!

What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?

A centipede with chilblains!

What has 50 legs but cant walk?

Half a centipede!

What do you call a guard with 100 legs?

A sentrypede!

What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken?

Enough drumsticks to feed an army!

What did one centipede say to the other centipede?

You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs,

You've got a lovely pair of legs,

You've got a lovely pair of legs,

You've got a lovely pair of legs,

You've got a lovely pair of legs .

..

.!

Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team?

He took too long to put his boots on!

What is worse than an alligator with toothache?

A centipede with athlete's foot!

What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk?

A centipede with a wooden leg!

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