More Jokes

Waiter jokes

Diner: Waiter, please close the window. Waiter: Why, is there a draft? Diner: Yes, it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

Diner: Waitress, the portions are getting smaller. Waiter: It's just an optical illusion. It's just that the restaurant has been enlarged.

Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I ordered? Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

Diner: Why are the waiters in here so nasty? Waiter: Look at who they have to serve.

Patron: Didn't you tell me the chef here cooked for the late heads of Europe? Waiter: Yes, and that's why they are the late heads of Europe.

Patron: Hey, there's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Why are you complaining? Isn't it cooked?

Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup? Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading.

Patron: This bread is stale. Waiter: It wasn't last week.

Patron: Waiter, why is there a spider in my glass? Waiter: It scares away the flies.

Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today. Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.