Doctor Jokes

Doctor's Notes 8

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a...


Get a heart transplant

|A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds."Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?""No,"...


Preventive medicine belief

|Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.Doctor: Oh, really?Mary: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!


Do you have a solution?

|A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?Dentist: Wear a brown tie!


I have bad and very bad news

|Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.Doctor: The lab called with your test results....


Did you take the patient's temperature?

|Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature?Nurse: No. Is it missing?


We need to help these people

|A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!Nurse: What is it?Doctor: It's a big...


I've got good and bad

|I've got good and badThis old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you...


Did you ever have this before?

|Doctor: Have you ever had this before?Patient: Yes.Doctor: Well, you've got it again!


My son swallowed the can opener

|Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener!Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be alright.Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?!...