Doctor Jokes
The bad and the worse news
|A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some...
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My wife is beating me
|David: My wife beats me, doctor.Doctor: Oh dear. How often?David: Every time we play Scrabble!
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I'm gaining weight doctor
|Trish: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor.Doctor: You should diet.Trish: Really? What color?
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We are the best of friends
|The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I...
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Does it hurt when you do this?
|Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this?Patient: Yes.Doctor: Well, don't do that.
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Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?
|Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?Doctor: A shoebox.
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What is your problem?
|Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
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You're in great health
|Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.Doctor: See, what did I tell you.
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Driving exams worry me
|Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!Doctor: Don't worry about it. You'll pass eventually.Liz: I'm the examiner!
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The Code of Ethical Behavior for Patients
|1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort.Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.2. Be...
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