Medicine

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and...

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?The taste.

 

Why are they having such a hard time finding a cure for AIDS?

Here's a pretty nasty one:Why are they having such a hard time finding a cure for AIDS?The scientists can't get the mice to butt fuck.

 

This guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a...

This guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a concerned look on his face. "Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm having it again.""What...

 

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man...

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were noill effects, so...

 

A woman came to the psychiatrist worried...

A woman came to the psychiatrist worried. "Doctor," she said, "I can't sleep at night. When I'm in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won't hear...

 

A midget walks into the doctors and says...

A midget walks into the doctors and says, "Doc, I've got these fuckingitchy balls and I can't do anything to stop 'em itching".The Doc says, "I can see the...

 

There was this man in a mental hospital...

There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear tothe wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day afterday. So the...

 

HEGS

The Doctor tells his patient that he has H-E-G-S"What's that?", the patient asks."It's a combination of Herpes, Encephalitis, Gonorrhea and Syphyllis."The...

 

Psychoanalysis

One of Sigmund Freud's early patients rushed out into an Austrian afternoon on her way to meet her best friend at a coffee house. Over Cappuccino and...

 

Benefits of having Alzheimer's

Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.