Miscellaneous

Scottish Builder

A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.Old Man speaks; "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well...

 

Things You Don't Want To Hear

Things you don't want to hear during surgery:Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop"Accept this...

 

Star Wars Update Changes

Top Ten Changes to the new Star Wars update#10 Tie fighters replaced with black UN helicopters lead by Buotros Buotros Vader.#9 Sand People replaced by...

 

Only A Head

Nine months to the day following their wedding, the Coopers had a baby. Unfortunately, it was born without arms or legs -- without even a torso. It was just...

 

Blind Herbie

Little Herbie had been blind since birth. One day at bedtime, his mother told him that the next day was a very special one. If he prayed extra hard, he'd be...

 

Went Fishing, Got Caught

A man phones home from his office and tells his wife: "Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a...

 

Timbucktoo

It seems that two of the great Romantic British Poets, Shelly and Keats died on the same day.When they got to heaven St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I only...

 

Shipwrecked Saga -Dog and Man

A man and his dog are shipwrecked on a desert island. After exploring the island, he discovers that the only other inhabitants on the island are a flock of...

 

The Bobbit Hillbillies

Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies"Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John,A poor ex-marine with little fraction gone,It seems one night...

 

Rejected Greeting Card Sentiments

GREETING CARDS UNSUCCESSFULLY MARKETED BY HALLMARK1. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! 'Cause when I got one... I got real snippy.2. I heard you had...