More Jokes

Lawyer jokes

In the construction field, it is often noted that lawyers make the worst clients. However, a couple of years ago I met an old carpenter that said...

 

Lawyer jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? You cry when you cut up an onion.

 

Lawyer jokes

Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working? Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong...

 

Lawyer jokes

Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, "lawyer" is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is...

 

Lawyer jokes

Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers? New Jersey had first choice.

 

Lawyer jokes

You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? You shoot the lawyer. Twice.

 

Lawyer jokes

How can you tell a lawyer is lying? Other lawyers look interested.

 

Lawyer jokes

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.

 

Lawyer jokes

Lawyer: "Let me give you my honest opinion." Client: "No, no. I'm paying for professional advice."

 

Lawyer jokes

Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?" Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court...