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If FedEx and Ups merged, would they call it Fed UP?

Why accountants don't read novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Want to hear an accountant joke?" The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell...

If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? "Darling, could you tell me about your work."

A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I...

A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant. Her friend asks, "Didn't your company hire an accountant a...

A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced...

Q: What is a Budget? A: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? "What kind of answer did you have in mind?" Two, one to change the light bulb and one to...

What's the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.