Relationships

A bad habit

I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.""What is she doing?", the pal asks."Waiting...

 

Where am I, Cathy?

Attorney to witness: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?"Witness: "Where am I Cathy?"Attorney: "And why did that...

 

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife...

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, "Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first...

 

A husband and wife were in their back yard...

A husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing herexpanding backside. He commented, "Boy, your ass is getting big.almost asbig as the gas...

 

A technical bastard

A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught ajudge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. Heasked if they had...

 

A little kid comes running into the backyard...

A little kid comes running into the backyard.He says, "Pop! Pop! Ma just got hit by a bus!""Son, you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile."

 

Being hurt

A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on theFerris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wifewent on the...

 

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts...

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in themirror. He asks, "What are you doing?"She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and...

 

Two men are discussing their lives...

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married.I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes towear."The other one says,...

 

A bum asks a man for $2...

A bum asks a man for $2.The man asked, "Will you buy booze?"The bum said, "No."The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?"The bum said, "No."Then the man...