Miscellaneous

Did you hear about the woman who has five legs?

Did you hear about the woman who has five legs? Her knickers fit her like a glove!

 

A man eating at restaurant says to his waiter...

A man eating at restaurant says to his waiter, 'waiter, there's a fly in my soup!' The waiter replies, 'That, sir, is entirely possible, you see our cook...

 

What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

 

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

Why did the one-handed man cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.

 

What is the definition of Agony?

What is the definition of Agony?A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

 

Why do farts smell?

Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too.

 

Why are E.T.s eyes so big?

Why are E.T.s eyes so big? Because he saw the phone bill.

 

What is It?

What is It? Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. Maddona does not have one. And a priest does not...

 

A lady was in a hardware store looking at...

A lady was in a hardware store looking at a fishing poles. She asked the store manager how much it was he said 'I am blind drop it on the ground and i'll...

 

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck.