Miscellaneous

The Pessimist!

An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find...

 

Not me Sarge!

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and...

 

2 guys at the bar.

Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them.The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do...

 

The Essay.

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following four elements:Religion, Royalty, Sex, and Mystery.The...

 

Daffynitions!

Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl\: What a Italian bullfighter tries to do. Baloney...

 

At the crazy farm!

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of...

 

Real Mothers...

Real Mothers . . .Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to makeit.Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the...

 

Gotta love the unions!

Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's...

 

Baptizing the Drunk!

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river.He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the preacher. The...

 

The Ocotpus!

A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus. He sits down at the bar and says to the bartender "give us two beers over here!" The bartender walks over...