Miscellaneous
Reflections on Life
George Carlin's Reflections on Life:1. Never raise your hands to you kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no...
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You're gonna croak!
A man goes to the doctor after feeling ill.The doctor says, "You know, you should have come to see me sooner. Unfortunately you have waited too long and you...
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Loving it up at 85!
At 85 years of age, a somewhat senile Morris marries Luanne, a lovely 25-year-old.Because her new husband is so old, Luanne decides that on their wedding...
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The Enchanted Snake
It was spring in the old west.The cowboys rode the still snow choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter.As one cowboy's horse went around the...
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Granny and the Cop.
An elderly couple were driving across the country.The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.The officer said, "Ma'am did you know...
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Santa's Reindeer
Santa's Reindeer are girls and here's the proof:According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the...
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Before it starts...
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!"The...
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Zen Quotes
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just #$%^ off and leave me...
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The Very Special Parrot!
A man walked into a pet store looking for a new pet for his wife.So he asked the salesman for some assistance. The salesguy brought the man to a parrot in...
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This little Piggy!
A pig walks into a bar and orders a beer. After drinking it, he hops off the bar stool, pees on the floor and leaves.Another pig comes in, drinks his beer,...
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